July 2, 2001
Miscellaneous Subjects 93: 1. Feedbacks to The Dark Shadow of Big Brother is Growing + 2. Scientist Says Mind Continues After Brain Dies + 3. How China beat down Falun Gong + 4. A REAL TURN-OFF + 5. Missing the Target - Green Bullets + 6. The urgent need for action against the spread of oil palm plantations + 7. The Art of Gentle Blessings + 8. CONTEST BETWEEN JESUS AND SATAN
I have no comment to add ;-)
Earth Rainbow Network Coordinator
SOME NEWS OF INTEREST TO CONSIDER
Kofi Annan: An Idealist Who Took the Heat, Shook Up the U.N.
Kofi Annan, the quiet Ghanaian who took charge of the United Nations with a decisiveness few had predicted, will be given a second term by acclamation in the General Assembly.
Beware: Toxic Mold
Is the fungus in your floorboards making you sick? With no clear answers, panic and lawsuits abound
CLIP - Like some sort of biblical plague, toxic mold has been creeping through homes, schools and other buildings across the U.S. Although press reports have focused on stachybotrys, strains of aspergillus, chaetomium and penicillium have also triggered their share of grief. At least two families have burned their homes to rid themselves of the contamination. Thousands more, including antipollution crusader Erin Brockovich, are suing home builders, landlords and insurers for damages to their property and their health. CLIP - Doctors know that certain strains can trigger allergic reactions, asthma and other respiratory ailments. They have discovered that toxins produced by aspergillus molds can cause cancer. CLIP - Even more alarming, several researchers believe that molds can cause some types of brain damage. Wayne Gordon, a neuropsychologist, and Dr. Eckardt Johanning, both of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City, have seen enough patients whose problems with memory, learning and concentration occurred only after exposure to stachybotrys to convince them there is a relationship. Still, they concede, more research is needed. CLIP
Subject: Re: The Dark Shadow of Big Brother is Growing
Date: Sat, 30 Jun 2001
That is absolutely shocking news regarding the mind control initiatives that may be underway, or even in place. Jogged my memory to share this, please do so if you wish, but this time please DO NOT INCLUDE MY NAME OR EMAIL ADDRESS OR CONNECTION OF ANY KIND.
Ever wonder why you can't turn a TV off? Have you noticed that once a TV is on, you become a zombie and just have to sit and watch it?
I used an advanced form of kinesiology muscle testing to ask why. I was shocked to discover that there were subliminal messages of some kind in the sound AND in the images. I invite other kinesiologists, dowsers etc to tune in and conduct tests for themselves and see what they find. Some countries and towns and stations may be clear, and it would be highly beneficial to start figuring this form of control out and the extent of it.
I can only reason that the TV stations do not know the signal contains the subliminal messages, and these messages are being added somewhere between the station and antenna, or perhaps in another way. Scares the shit out of me! Sorry for the language, but its time to seriously start doing something about what is going on.
From: "Leonard Spade" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Re: The Dark Shadow of Big Brother is Growing
Date: Sat, 30 Jun 2001
Have you ever seen the tape called "Capital Crimes" a newer edited version is called "The Money Masters?" In order to see the "Matrix" we have to know some basic information. The tape can be purchased on the following web site (cost: $35). I have seen the tape and it is all fact. There is no undocumented statement that I was able to detect. The revelation was startling. I am suggesting that you check it out and if you are impressed perhaps you will alert your readership. I have shown it to so many people. It's like an instant transformation. I showed it to a couple of Republicans I know and they have not been the same since.
The only way to be set free is to shine a light into the dark. I believe this tape does just that.
Thank you, again, for your untiring effort.
Date: Sat, 30 Jun 2001
Subject: Re: Tetra system
i read with great interest the information about control...as we all know being a human being is about someone else trying to control you ...and your choice to keep your own control about what you think, say, do and feel... each person will come to the realization that being responsible for themselves and being accountable for being out of integrity with the essence of goodness within will bring the side effects times 10.
this mass control concept is reaching crisis levels ...those that choose to keep themselves in balance and in touch with their own loving goodness will be the ones to come out on the otherside of this crisis to be in place to open the world to mass peace... we can not make war to bring peace... we can only use peace to bring peace... we can only have peace when we focus on how we are similar... while honoring and respecting our differences.
blessings to you jean for the informational service you provide.
THIS ARTICLE BELOW IS CRITICALLY IMPORTANT, ESPECIALLY IN LIGHT OF THE VERY SPECIAL NEWS I WILL BREAK TO YOU SHORTLY...
From: "Mark Graffis" <email@example.com>
Subject: Scientist Says Mind Continues After Brain Dies
Date: Fri, 29 Jun 2001
Friday June 29
By Sarah Tippit
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A British scientist studying heart attack patients says he is finding evidence that suggests that consciousness may continue after the brain has stopped functioning and a patient is clinically dead.
The research, presented to scientists last week at the California Institute of Technology (Caltech), resurrects the debate over whether there is life after death and whether there is such a thing as the human soul.
``The studies are very significant in that we have a group of people with no brain function ... who have well-structured, lucid thought processes with reasoning and memory formation at a time when their brains are shown not to function,'' Sam Parnia, one of two doctors from Southampton General Hospital in England who have been studying so-called near-death experiences (NDEs), told Reuters in an interview.
``We need to do much larger-scale studies, but the possibility is certainly there'' to suggest that consciousness, or the soul, keeps thinking and reasoning even if a person's heart has stopped, he is not breathing and his brain activity is nil, Parnia said.
He said he and colleagues conducted an initial yearlong study, the results of which appeared in the February issue of the journal Resuscitation. The study was so promising the doctors formed a foundation to fund further research and continue collecting data.
During the initial study, Parnia said, 63 heart attack patients who were deemed clinically dead but were later revived were interviewed within a week of their experiences.
Of those, 56 said they had no recollection of the time they were unconscious and seven reported having memories. Of those, four were labeled NDEs in that they reported lucid memories of thinking, reasoning, moving about and communicating with others after doctors determined their brains were not functioning.
FEELINGS OF PEACE
Among other things, the patients reported remembering feelings of peace, joy and harmony. For some, time sped up, senses heightened and they lost awareness of their bodies.
The patients also reported seeing a bright light, entering another realm and communicating with dead relatives. One, who called himself a lapsed Catholic and Pagan, reported a close encounter with a mystical being.
Near-death experiences have been reported for centuries but in Parnia's study none of the patients were found to have received low oxygen levels, which some skeptics believe may contribute to the phenomenon.
When the brain is deprived of oxygen people become totally confused, thrash around and usually have no memories at all, Parnia said. ``Here you have a severe insult to the brain but perfect memory.''
Skeptics have also suggested that patients' memories occurred in the moments they were leaving or returning to consciousness. But Parnia said when a brain is traumatized by a seizure or car wreck a patient generally does not remember moments just before or after losing consciousness.
Rather, there is usually a memory lapse of hours or days. ''Talk to them. They'll tell you something like: 'I just remember seeing the car and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital,''' he said.
``With cardiac arrest, the insult to the brain is so severe it stops the brain completely. Therefore, I would expect profound memory loss before and after the incident,'' he added.
Since the initial experiment, Parnia and his colleagues have found more than 3,500 people with lucid memories that apparently occurred at times they were thought to be clinically dead. Many of the patients, he said, were reluctant to share their experiences fearing they would be thought crazy.
A TODDLER'S TALE
One patient was 2-1/2 years old when he had a seizure and his heart stopped. His parents contacted Parnia after the boy ''drew a picture of himself as if out of his body looking down at himself. It was drawn like there was a balloon stuck to him. When they asked what the balloon was he said, 'When you die you see a bright light and you are connected to a cord.' He wasn't even 3 when had the experience,'' Parnia said.
``What his parents noticed was that after he had been discharged from hospital, six months after the incident, he kept drawing the same scene.''
The brain function these patients were found to have while unconscious is commonly believed to be incapable of sustaining lucid thought processes or allowing lasting memories to form, Parnia said -- pointing to the fact that nobody fully grasps how the brain generates thoughts.
The brain itself is made up of cells, like all the body's organs, and is not really capable of producing the subjective phenomenon of thought that people have, he said.
He speculated that human consciousness may work independently of the brain, using the gray matter as a mechanism to manifest the thoughts, just as a television set translates waves in the air into picture and sound.
``When you damage the brain or lose some of the aspects of mind or personality, that doesn't necessarily mean the mind is being produced by the brain. All it shows is that the apparatus is damaged,'' Parnia said, adding that further research might reveal the existence of a soul.
``When these people are having experiences they say, 'I had this intense pain in my chest and suddenly I was drifting in the corner of my room and I was so happy, so comfortable. I looked down and realized I was seeing my body and doctors all around me trying to save me and I didn't want to go back.
``The point is they are describing seeing this thing in the room, which is their body. Nobody ever says, 'I had this pain and the next thing I knew my soul left me.'''
NOTE FROM JEAN: The following article about the *really* terrible repression of the new age Falun Gong cult in China was not published in the U.S. Edition of Time Magazine this week, but only in the Canadian one...
How China beat down Falun Gong
One person at a time, Beijing is crushing the power of a group that once seemed a threat to the regime
Chinese police call people like Liu Shujuan die-hard elements. After the government banned Falun Gong, her spiritual practice, Liu traveled three times to protest in Beijing's Tiananmen Square. The last time, in November, she took her four-year-old daughter and unfurled a yellow banner reading the falun law is the universal law! Police jailed Liu and threatened to dispatch her to China's labor-camp gulag. Her parents, terrified, begged her to disavow her beliefs; her husband smacked her face; her boss threatened her job. Liu waved them away. Then someone brought her weeping daughter to jail, and Liu's will broke. In writing, she promised never to protest again.
In March the Communist Party confined Liu to a hotel room for five days with others who had given up Falun Gong. They picked apart supposed flaws in the spiritual movement's doctrine and blamed Liu, 31, an elementary school art teacher, for ruining her family. By the time the sessions had ended, Liu "realized I was thinking only of myself." She signed a promise to "split from the evil cult Falun Gong and its heresies." These days, at the party's behest, she leads similar sessions. Speaking in a carefully monitored meeting that includes government officials and her school principal, she says her spirituality has died: "I believe in nothing."
One person at a time, the Chinese Communist Party has broken Falun Gong. The organization once stunned the party by claiming tens of millions of followers; on April 25, 1999, 10,000 showed up to demonstrate in central Beijing. As recently as last winter, dozens arrived in Tiananmen Square nearly every day to protest the party's crackdown on the movement. But on the recent second anniversary of the 1999 demonstration, only about 30 people reached the square; most days no one does. The majority of practitioners, like Liu, seem to have surrendered their faith--or, at least, say they have. Most of the die-hard elements have "cast off the fetters of the evil cult," crowed the People's Daily, the party's mouthpiece, last week. CLIP
If the protest stunned the leadership, Falun Gong's list of members terrified it; included were retired Communist Party elders and military officers. So the crackdown, when it finally came three months after the huge demonstration, stretched from the top of the party's ranks to the remotest rice paddy. A nationwide system of collective guilt held police, factory bosses and family members accountable when people around them practiced Falun Gong's slow-motion spiritual exercises. Foreign companies fell in line. Police sentenced more than 10,000 followers to labor camps, and Falun Gong's exiled leaders say they have evidence that more than 225 people died of abuse in custody. "It's now a war of attrition, and Falun Gong will lose," predicts Robert Weller, a Boston University anthropologist who follows the movement. CLIP -
You may read the rest at http://www.canoe.ca/TimeCanada0107/02_time14.htmlBR>
29 Jun 2001
A REAL TURN-OFF
A month after he said "conservation does not mean doing without," U.S. President Bush said he would cut electricity use at the White House, ordering employees to turn off lights when leaving their offices and switch off computers when they would be gone for two days or more. With these and other steps, the complex of White House buildings is expected to cut energy use by 10 to 12 percent. The president also proposed to restore $300 million in funding for Clinton-era research programs on energy conservation -- money that he struck from the budget earlier this year. Speaking to Energy Department employees yesterday, Bush jokingly urged them to stop their applause, "Okay -- conserve your energy." In turn, Democrats, and even the national press, have had a hard time not poking fun at Bush for his seeming about-face on the issue of conservation.
Washington Post, Mike Allen, 29 Jun 2001
New York Times, David E. Sanger and Lizette Alvarez
Date: Thu, 28 Jun 2001
From: "Jackie Alan Giuliano, Ph.D." <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Missing the Target - Green Bullets
Lead from bullets of soldiers, hunters, and other gun users has been wreaking havoc in the environment for decades. Birds and other wildlife ingest lead shot from hunters' shotguns by the millions and suffer a lingering, painful death from lead poisoning. Humans suffer too. Those
who eat wildlife with lead in their systems will accumulate lead in their bodies. Humans at shooting ranges around the world are also showing the effects of lead poisoning as they breath air filled with lead that they may unwittingly take home to their families
Read about the millions of pounds of lead that is leaching into the Earth, poisoning groundwater and upsetting delicate balances, in this week's Healing Our World commentary, "Missing the Target - Green Bullets," on the Environment News Service at http://ens-news.com/ens/jun2001/2001L-06-27g.html
Lead is even found in candy bar wrappers (7 grams per kilogram) and colored sports trading cards packaged with gum. (88 milligrams per kilogram)!
It is time to get the lead out and acknowledge this major source of poisoning in our environment.
Take care and I wish you peace.
Jackie Alan Giuliano, Ph.D.
Date: Fri, 29 Jun 2001
From: Teresa Perez <email@example.com>
Subject: [wrmfriends] WRM Bulletin 47
WORLD RAINFOREST MOVEMENT
MOVIMIENTO MUNDIAL POR LOS BOSQUES
Maldonado 1858, CP 11200
Ph +598 2 403 2989
Fax +598 2 408 0762
Web page: http://www.wrm.org.uy
W R M B U L L E T I N 47
THE FOCUS OF THIS ISSUE: OIL PALM PLANTATIONS
Oil palm monocultures are being promoted and spreading throughout the tropics, impacting on nature and on people's livelihoods. Given the importance of the issue and the lack of awareness about the impacts they entail, we decided to focus this issue of the WRM Bulletin entirely on this subject. Although the articles constitute a sample of the many countries where these plantations are being implemented, we believe that they provide an overview of the different problems and actors involved, which can be of assistance to people struggling at the local level against this increasing threat.
* OUR VIEWPOINT
- The urgent need for action against the spread of oil palm plantations
Oil palm plantations currently extend over millions of hectares of forest lands throughout the tropics. Further plantations are either being implemented or promoted in almost every Southern country where soil, water and solar energy fill the requirements of this palm. From Mexico to Brazil, from West to East Africa and from Asia and Southeast Asia to Oceania, governments are being urged to create conditions for the expansion of this crop.
This is completely at odds with governments' commitments regarding tropical forest conservation. It is a proven fact that most industrial oil palm plantations result in deforestation, having even worse impacts than the destructive industrial logging still in force in most of those countries. These plantations are usually preceded by logging, which "clears" the land to make them possible. The plantation then impedes the regrowth of the forest by the widespread use of herbicides. The forest thus disappears entirely from extensive areas, with serious impacts on local flora, fauna, soil and water resources. And that is usually the "best case" scenario. In other cases, the entire forest --and not only the plantation area-- is set on fire, as was patent in Indonesia with the 1997/98 forest fires, which were the result of "clearing" activities carried out mostly by plantation companies.
The social impacts of these plantations are also evident, but are simply ignored. Plantations are not implemented in uninhabited areas and for the local people the most serious impact is the appropriation of their land by the plantation companies. In most tropical countries, local people do not have former ownership of the land they traditionally own. Plantation companies are awarded concessions or land titles to that land and receive government support to repress whatever opposition they may face from local communities. Additionally, the environmental impacts described in the previous paragraph are also social, given that local people obtain a large number of products and services from the forest environment which disappears as a result of the plantation.
From a macroeconomic viewpoint, Southern governments appear to have learned nothing from previous experiences with "miracle" crops. The falling prices of coffee, cacao, banana and many other crops have a simple explanation: the widespread promotion of a certain crop in as many countries as possible. The result is oversupply and competition between and within countries for market access. The burden is then carried by local producers and local workers --whose incomes get increasingly lower-- or by local tax-payers when production is supported with government subsidies. But the end result is extremely favourable for the major processing and trading companies, which are able to access abundant and cheap raw material, thus ensuring high profits.
As with any other crop, the problem is not the palm itself but the industrial model in which it is being implemented. There are numerous examples --particularly in Africa-- to show that this palm can be grown and harvested in an environmentally-friendly manner and that it can serve to fulfill the needs of the local populations in a sustainable and equitable manner. However, it is usually the industrial and not the small-scale diversified model which is being promoted. Even worse, the palm oil industry aims at developing genetically modified oil palms, which will increase the current problems and create new and yet unknown ones.
In spite of the threat posed to forests and forest peoples by oil palm monoculture expansion, national and international NGOs don't appear to be --with few exceptions-- sufficiently involved in this problem. We therefore hope that this bulletin will encourage more NGOs to get involved in much needed research and campaigning activities to support local people struggling at the ground level to defend their rights and forests against the plantation invasion.
HERE ARE A COUPLE OTHER EXCERPTS FROM THIS MOST EXCELLENT BULLETIN
- Genetically-modified oil palms: The final threat
Despite the numerous social and environmental impacts of monoculture oil palm plantations, the industry is continuously trying to increase productivity and lower costs, which can only lead to even more serious impacts on people and nature. It is the system's perverse logic. Within that logic, the obvious step forward is genetic manipulation of oil palms. Not only to increase productivity, but to alter the end-product: palm oil. And they are already working in that direction.
Malaysian Palm Oil Association chief executive M.R. Chandran has publicly declared that "the priority should be to develop transgenic palms for better oil quality, yield and minimal height". To work in that direction, he added, "the industry must build alliances with established R&D institutions, universities and industry players, both locally and overseas, to make possible a quantum leap in applied and adaptive research work."
For him, clones are not enough. Chandran said that "the national CPO [Crude palm oil] yield has stagnated at 3.6 to 3.8 tonnes/ha in the past 13 years even though new clones developed can produce as much as 6.5 to 7.5 tonnes/ha.", adding that "the industry should take advantage of the Government's subsidy offer of RM1,000 per hectare to carry out accelerated replanting with superior planting materials and with mechanisation in mind".
Research in this direction is already well advanced. In 1998, the press informed that indepth studies had already been undertaken by local plant biologists and geneticists to create genetically-engineered palm oil which would be able to produce "the kind of oil, flavour and scent the detergent and cooking oil manufacturers, the chocolate makers, the beauty industry, the perfume designers and salad makers desire." So the aim of this research is clearly to transform a natural product into an artificial one adapted to industry's needs.
This is the final threat to both natural environments and to people who consume palm oil and its different products. Smaller plants will allow further mechanization in harvesting. New qualities will be introduced to palm oil to adapt it to industry's --not consumers'-- needs. The effects on human health of the resulting genetically-manipulated products could be serious. Impacts on the natural environments could be irreversible. And the whole process would have only one reason: profit making for industry and trade.
"Palm Oil Most Studied Commodity Today" By Cheah Chor Sooi, The New Straits Times Sunday, September 6, 1998, http://members.spree.com/abman/art16.htm
"Surviving the low prices of palm oil"
By Yong Tiam Kui, New Straits Times, April 8 2001, http://members.tripod.com/skypin/ekon/ekon47.html
- Global warming: More plantations or more will to reduce emissions?
During the international negotiations on climate change, some governments committed themselves to reducing carbon dioxide emissions in their own countries. This very encouraging attitude from an environmental perspective --for the reduction of the greenhouse effect-- can at the same time be the worst decision against the environment if it were to be implemented through the promotion of plantations to act as so-called "carbon sinks."
Negotiations will be restarting in July this year and the issue is very much on the agenda, given that more and more governments and corporations --mostly Northern-- are stimulating monoculture tree plantations in the South --eucalyptus, pines or oil palm-- as a means to "offset" (in reality to justify) their greenhouse gas emissions, instead of controlling and reducing them.
These decisions are being taken without taking into account the impacts of monocultures on the countries and peoples which inhabit the regions in which they are implemented. In the case of oil palm plantations, they are being promoted through the press or scientific studies which, to the usual false arguments (employment generation, contribution to the country's development) now add an equaly false one: that "Oil palm is an excellent "machine" [that] can fix carbon dioxide using solar energy".
We have already stated through the WRM bulletin all the reasons to oppose the carbon sink mechanism, so we won't repeat them now. What we do wish is to reproduce a few quotes to exemplify the propaganda with which the unknowing public is being increasingly bombarded with the aim of both imposing oil palm plantations and of imposing the "remedy" of carbon sink plantations as the solution to global climate change:
CLIP - You may read the rest of this Bulletin 47 at http://www.wrm.org.uy
For more related information please visit the web site sections on Climate Change: http://www.wrm.org.uy/actors/CCC/index.html
and Plantations Camapaign:
From: Mayr Hans <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: THE GENTLE ART OF BLESSING
Date: Thu, 28 Jun 2001
From: Pahana <email@example.com>
THE GENTLE ART OF BLESSING
On awakening, bless this day, for it is already full of unseen good which your blessings will call forth; for to bless is to acknowledge the unlimited good that is embedded in the very texture of the universe and awaiting each and all.
On passing people in the street, on the bus, in places of work and play, bless them. The peace of your blessing will accompany them on their way and the aura of its gentle fragrance will be a light to their path.
On meeting and talking to people, bless them in their health, their work, their joy, their relationships to God, themselves, and others. Bless them in their abundance, their finances...bless them in every conceivable way, for such blessings not only sow seeds of healing but one day will spring forth as flowers of joy in the waste places of your own life.
As you walk, bless the city in which you live, its government and teachers, its nurses and street sweepers, its children and bankers and its priests.
The minute anyone expresses the least aggression or unkindness to you, respond with a blessing: bless them totally, sincerely, joyfully, for such blessings are a shield which protects them from the ignorance of their misdeed, and deflects the arrow that was aimed at you.
To bless means to wish, unconditionally, total, unrestricted good for others and events from the deepest wellspring in the innermost chamber of your heart: it means to hallow, to hold in reverence, to behold with utter awe that which is always a gift from the Creator. He who is hallowed by your blessing is set aside, consecrated, holy, whole.
To bless is yet to invoke divine care upon, to think or speak gratefully for, to confer happiness upon - although we ourselves are never the bestower, but simply the joyful witnesses of Life's abundance. To bless all without discrimination of any sort is the ultimate form of giving, because those you bless will never know from whence came the sudden ray of sun that burst through the clouds of their skies, and you will rarely be a witness to the sunlight in their lives.
When something goes completely askew in your day, some unexpected event knocks down your plans and you too also, burst into blessing: for life is teaching you a lesson, and the very event you believe to be unwanted, you yourself called forth, so as to learn the lesson you might balk against were you not to bless it. Trials are blessings in disguise, and hosts of angels follow in their path. To bless is to acknowledge the omnipresent, universal beauty hidden to material eyes; it is to activate that law of attraction which, from the furthest reaches of the universe, will bring into your life exactly what you need to experience and enjoy.
When you pass a prison, mentally bless its inmates in their innocence and freedom, their gentleness, pure essence and unconditional forgiveness; for one can only be prisoner of one's self-image, and a free man can walk unshackled in the courtyard of a jail, just as citizens of countries where freedom reigns can be prisoners when fear lurks in their thoughts.
When you pass a hospital, bless its patients in their present wholeness, for even in their suffering, this wholeness awaits in them to be discovered.
When your eyes behold a man in tears, or seemingly broken by life, bless him in his vitality and joy: for the material senses present but the inverted image of the ultimate splendor and perfection which only the inner eye beholds.
It is impossible to bless and to judge at the same time. So hold constantly as a deep, hallowed, intoned thought that desire to bless, for truly then shall you become a peacemaker, and one day you shall, everywhere, behold the very face of God.
~from a book by Pierre Pradervand~
MORE FROM THIS VERY INTERESTING JOURNAL PUBLISHED BY MALACTI IN THE NEXT COMPILATION
From: "Malacti" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
THE HIDDEN MASTER JOURNAL - Friday, June 29th 2001
CONTEST BETWEEN JESUS AND SATAN
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally, God said, "Cool it! I am going to set up a test that will run two hours, and I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent emails. They sent out emails with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. However, 10 minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder clapped, the rain poured, and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically and screamed, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went off!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of diligent work. Satan observed this and became irate.
He cheated! How did he do it?"
God shrugged and said, "JESUS SAVES."
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