December 9, 2000
Subject: Miscellaneous Subjects #50: Corporate, Right-wing Influence in the Judicial System + Petition to the US Supreme Court: We Are Outraged!!! + Comments on "hole in cloud" + Follow up to Forestry Report + MotleyFool Charity Drive Inquiries + Sea Lions' Final Showdown At Hand! + Petition to stop biocidal spraying in Colombia + WHY, I OTTAWA + LEAP, FROGS + Mercury, Formaldehyde, Aluminum, Anti Freeze, in ALL Flu shots! + Don't Wait for the EPA - or Anyone + The Alternative NewsRoom Newsletter + Can You Pass This Election Test? + PREPARING FOR THE ANNUAL MAMMOGRAM
Yet another compilation, the 50th of the Miscellaneous kind!
Hoping you'll have time to give it a look as there is an important breaking story about the US presidential election.
Earth Rainbow Network Coordinator
P.S. With the US election saga taking ever more new twists every hour almost, the attached picture
is an apt reminder of the shenanigans now going on... If Jeb Bush ends up picking his brother for the presidency (you have to follow CNN and be up to all the latest "doomsday" scenarios to understand how that can be possible!), then we can all kiss goodby to what's left of US so-called democracy - and probably to much of the rest of what we all cherish as well! The US Supreme Court (7 of its judges have been nominated by previous Republican presidents...) just handed a significant victory to Bush by stopping the latest hand recount of the Florida undervotes until it can review the Bush appeal on Monday thus making it almost impossible to complete the Florida-wide recount before Tuesday December 12, the deadline for deciding to whom Florida's Great electors go. Check the latest (as of now! Saturday December 9) "U.S. Supreme Court Halts Florida Recounts" at http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20001209/ts/election_leadall_dc_467.html
See also the comment and petition just received through Mark Graffis below.
Date: Sat, 9 Dec 2000
From: Mark Graffis <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Corporate, Right-wing Influence in the Judicial System
From: "rich" <email@example.com>
The following article was forwarded by Miki Kwan. It was written by
former Newsweek journalist Robert Parry, who helped break the Iran-Contra
story in the mid 1980s. See http://www.copi.com/articles/rparry_a.html
for a speech by Parry on the Iran-Contra issue.
One of the interesting observations in this article is that the judicial
system has become highly politicized. Judges nowadays, especially those
on the Right, can be expected to protect people they have a political
connection to, even if they contradict legal precedent in doing so. My
impression is that this might have always been the case to some extent,
but as of late it has gotten much worse. The Supreme Court is not immune.
It turns out that the Right managed to get the Reagan Administration, when
selecting new judges, to appoint mostly judges who were members of the
conservative Federalist Society (http://www.fed-soc.org) -- according to a
Republican no less, special prosecutor Lawrence Walsh. Prof. Francis
Boyle has studied this; he can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Another
source for information on the selection of right-wing judges (and the
filibustering of liberal and moderate appointees) is the Judicial
Selection Project of the Alliance for Justice. They can be reached at
The Alliance wrote an extensive analysis of the Federalist Society and
related legal projects of the Right. This report can be ordered from the
AFJ web site at http://afj.org/pubs.html. The report is called:
ACCESS TO JUSTICE Justice for Sale: Shortchanging the Public Interest for
Private Gain (1993) 94 pp.,$15.00 Analysis of efforts by major
corporations and foundations to elevate profits and private wealth over
social justice and individual rights as the cornerstones of American
NOTE: The article by Miki Kwan was not included...
Date: Sat, 9 Dec 2000 20:45:42
From: Mark Graffis <email@example.com>
Subject: Petition to Supreme Court
From: "Bob Fertik" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Petition to the US Supreme Court: We Are Outraged!!!
To the US Supreme Court: We, the People, are outraged that you have
stopped the recount of uncounted votes in Florida. We will never accept a
President who is chosen by an incomplete count stopped by a partisan
Supreme Court decision led by judges appointed by the father of George W.
Bush. The eyes of the Nation and the World are on you. Count Every Vote!!!
Sign our petition and spread the word!
Date: Fri, 8 Dec 2000
Subject: Comments on "hole in cloud"
From: Ashiar Samone <email@example.com>
Regarding the so-called, "hole in cloud", you and your readers may be
interested in knowing that at a conference in Santa Fe in September, one
of the speakers, possibly Robert Dean, showed slides of UFOs forming
clouds to disguise themselves inside them. Amazingly enough, the trail
underneath is a part of the process. He showed slide after slide, where
people had caught the entire process in photographs and on video. He
also showed the most famous photograph, the one over Mt. Shasta. It has
been made into a poster/print. But, there are many others. And now it
looks like we can add these photos to the list!
Cool stuff, Jean.....thanks for all you do!
Date: Thu, 7 Dec 2000
From: pat kostakeva <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Dec. 4, Forestry report
Thank you for your extensive coverage of the world wide forestry dilemma. Sometimes it seems
overwhelming, but by keeping people informed, you are helping ever so much.
Please read Dorothy MacClean's book "I hear the Angels sing" , the chapter on "messages from the Big Trees" (I think that is the name). It is the most inspiring message I have ever read about the massive importance of preserving our oldgrowth forests. Also, in "Celestine Prophecy", there is a prediction that in the "enlightened" future, all humans will dwell within 500-year-old forests.
We must start now to GROW these forests! I would like to ask everyone who can afford it to buy a
parcel of land and begin to grow trees. I haven't been able to afford it yet myself, but I know there are readers who can. Please, Please, Please buy up as much land as possible and preserve it in its natural state. That is the best way to fight the big corporations. Buy the land. And support the Nature Conservancy which is the biggest private landowner in the U.S., preserving vast acreages. But it is so disillusioning to drive through the countryside and see "for sale" signs on the most beautiful pieces of land! Try to raise some money and preserve one little corner of your local neighborhood. That is all any of us can do. And get connected with the big nature preservation groups, especially Nature Conservancy, to try to buy the land before it gets destroyed.
Pat of Sunwillow Foundation.
Subject: MotleyFool Charity Drive Inquiries
Date: Sat, 9 Dec 2000
A few people have written, asking how they can access the
MotleyFool newsletter with regard to the Charity Drive 2000 ("Some
Eye-popping Numbers) you recently mentioned in your post. Motley Fool's
home page is: http://www.MotleyFool.com
Specifically, the charity page is at:
With warm greetings,
Fool.com: Some Eye-popping Numbers, [Foolanthropy]
Here are some amazing numbers:
America's Second Harvest, not an enormous organization, feeds 26 million
hungry Americans annually, including eight million children. Last year it
distributed 1.5 billion pounds of food. It needs our help to do more.
Through its unique methods, Ashoka has helped save seven million acres of
rainforest in Brazil, spending less than a penny an acre. It has helped
answer emergency calls from 20,000 of India's street children, spending
about $0.55 apiece. It's doing much more, and can use our support.
According to one study, within 4.2 years, 70% of Grameen borrowers have
risen above the poverty line. Infant mortality among borrowers drops by
34%. With $100,000 from us, Grameen can help 1,750 of the poorest of the
poor start their own small businesses.
Since 1944, Heifer Project International has given the gift of
self-reliance to four million families in 120 countries, via animals and
plants. Each recipient passes on their gift animal's first female
offspring to another struggling family. In China alone over 1 million
animals have been passed on since 1985. It can do much more, with our
Lifewater International can bring a lifetime of clean and safe water to
developing nations for an average of about four dollars per person. We can
save thousands of lives through Lifewater.
These are just tiny glimpses of the work that these organizations engage
in. I encourage you to read more about them.
The Motley Fool is dedicated to Educating, Amusing, and Enriching
all visitors to their website at
You can become a registered Fool for Free:
GABRIELLA ALSO SENT THE FOLLOWING GREENPEACE EMERGENCY ACTION CALL TO HELP SAVE THE SEA LIONS FROM EXTINCTION IN THE US.
Date: Sat, 9 Dec 2000
Subject: Fwd: Greenpeace - URGENT: Sea Lions' Final Showdown At Hand!
This is an emergency Action Call. According to Greenpeace, the Sea Lions
could become extinct if the government has its way.
"It's now or never, for stopping the anti-environmental rider onslaught
in the lame-duck session."
CALLS are urgently needed to persuade/pressure "the Hill" to protect these
creatures. I thought I'd send this to you in case you're able to send an
emergency alert to your readership or to whatever NGO's you feel could help.
Thanks so much.
CLIP - In a nutshell, the scale trawling industry in Alaska which has been prevented from taking more fishes recently because their excessive catches were starving the Steller sea lions population and was thus helping to push them to the brink of extinction, wants now to resume its full scale plundering of the sea in January with the support of Senator Ted Steven (Rep) from Alaska. Greenpeace is asking people to help block Sen. Stevens' rider suspending ESA protections for the Steller sea lion critical habitat. See all the details at the URL below.
Take Action Online:
HERE IS ANOTHER ISSUE ON WHICH YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE ACTION
Date: Fri, 08 Dec 2000
From: mirage <mirage@PObox.com>
Subject: Petition to stop biocidal spraying in Colombia - Send a letter to Colombian President Pastrana
YOU MAY SIGN THE PETITION AT:
08 Dec 2000
Environmental news from GRIST MAGAZINE
WHY, I OTTAWA ...
After two days of talks in Ottawa, a U.S.-led bloc of nations and the
European Union yesterday failed to iron out disagreements over how to
implement a climate change treaty. Negotiators had hoped to reach an
agreement that could be more formally approved by their countries
next week in Oslo, but the Ottawa meeting produced so little that
Canadian Environment Minister David Anderson said an Oslo follow-up
would be "unlikely." Just as at the collapsed climate talks in The
Hague, Netherlands, the major remaining dispute is over whether
countries should be allowed to count the amount of carbon absorbed by
forests and farmland toward their greenhouse gas emissions reductions
targets. The U.S., Canada, Japan, Australia, and New Zealand argue
in favor of such carbon sinks, while the EU believes emissions should
be cut at the source. Meanwhile, even though the U.S. government
isn't displaying leadership on the issue, companies and individuals
are beginning to take significant steps to reduce greenhouse gases,
writes Donella Meadows. Read more on the Grist Magazine website.
CNN.com, Reuters, 08 Dec 2000
Americans dragged their heels at The Hague, but others are acting to
stop climate change -- by Donella Meadows
More climate news -- in our Heat Beat section
Federal scientists have found that commonly used pesticides in
California's Central Valley are contributing to the decline of frogs
in the state. The research found that the pesticides diazinon and
Dursban are blown east into Yosemite National Park and elsewhere in
the Sierra Nevada mountains, where they are absorbed in the frogs'
bodies. The chemicals disrupt the nervous systems of the amphibians,
perhaps causing them to die of respiratory failure. Amphibian
populations are plummeting around the world and scientists agree that
it is likely that there is more than one reason for the decline.
San Jose Mecury News, Lisa M. Krieger and Paul Rogers, 08 Dec 2000
From: "Kerry Boytzun" <email@example.com>
Subject: Mercury, Formaldehyde, Aluminum, Anti Freeze, in ALL Flu shots!
Date: Sat, 9 Dec 2000
Why I Never Get Flu Shots
by Chet Day
Reprinted with permission from Chet Day's Health & Beyond
http://www.chetday.com/ (Lots of interesting and useful information there!)
Every year about this time, quite a few people write me and ask, "My Doctor tells me to get my annual flu shot. Should I do it?"
Well, I don't diagnose or prescribe, and what you do with your body remains entirely up to you and your doctor (if you still go to a doctor), but I'll gladly tell you what I do regarding flu shots...
I avoid them like the plague.
In fact, at age 52, I've never had a flu shot, and it would take a Marine nurse and at least four burly wrestlers the size of Jessie Ventura to hold me down and give me one.
Perhaps you already sense I have strong feelings about flu shots? These feelings stem from personal opinion, reading, and dramatic personal experience. First off, I don't think toxic chemicals and virus strains grown on living tissue belong in the human body, even when they're packaged in sterile glass vials.
Since my family and I don't rely on doctors anymore, I don't have access to an insert that reveals the composition of this year's flu vaccine, but I did find some general information at the Concerned Parents for Vaccine Safety http://home.sprynet.com/%7Egyrene/ web site, where I learned about some of the ingredients used to make vaccines.
Do you want any of the following vaccine constituents in YOUR bloodstream? * Ethylene glycol (antifreeze) * Phenol, also known as carbolic acid (this is used as a disinfectant, dye) * Formaldehyde, a known cancer-causing agent * Aluminum, which is associated with Alzheimer's disease and seizures and also cancer producing in laboratory mice (it is used as an additive to promote antibody response) * Thimerosal (a mercury disinfectant/preservative) can result in brain injury and autoimmune disease * Neomycin and Streptomycin (used as antibiotics) have caused allergic reaction in some people. Vaccines are also grown and strained through animal or human tissue like monkey kidney tissue, chicken embryo, embryonic guinea pig cells, calf serum, and human diploid cells (the dissected organs of aborted human fetuses as in the case of rubella, hepatitis A, and chickenpox vaccines).
Well, I refuse to put all of the above in my body, and I hope when your doctor starts telling you it's time for your annual flu shot that you'll require him to defend the annual injection. You or your insurance company's probably paying eighty bucks for a visit, so get your money's worth.
Have your doctor read you the insert that comes with the vaccine. Then have him/her explain why it makes sense to inject toxic chemicals into the human body and how such substances can aid the delicate immune system. Chances are he/she will fall back on questionable statistical and demographic explanations that the medical establishment has used for decades to justify immunization.
Try to engage your doctor in a non-confrontational discussion because this is an opportunity for him/her to actually give some serious thought to what he/she is injecting into bodies of patients day after day after day.
Many traditional doctors who haven't studied diet and lifestyle aren't going to change unless we help to educate them to what drugs and vaccines may really be doing long-term to people.
Okay, to speak from personal experience for a moment, let's look over our shoulders to 1990, a time period before the Day family turned to natural methods of building health.
In February of 1990, right after my wife's major cancer surgery in January, her doctor recommended a flu shot. Almost immediately after the injection, my wife started feeling ill. Overnight she came down with the worst case of flu she'd ever had. She went to bed and literally didn't get up again for more than a few hours at a time for years afterwards. Only now, almost a decade later, is she finally regaining full health and energy.
I don't have space or enough heart yet to tell my wife's entire story, though I'll do it one of these days, but if you'll click here http://www.chetday.com/janecfids.html , you can read an article written by another CFIDS sufferer, an article that shows the cause and effect connection between flu vaccines and terrible immune disorders.
Okay, I'm a realist so if I was still thinking traditionally, part of me would almost buy into the typical rationale for flu vaccines, that so many people are spared the annual flu and only a few die or have their lives ruined after being injected. I'd buy into that if I were convinced that injecting a filthy substance into the body actually made sense. Unfortunately, once I stopped buying into the big medical lies about their drug, cut, and burn system, I started questioning all of it.
And when one digs into the vaccine history (check out the Swine Flu vaccine if you want a real horror story) and scientific research (especially in Europe), it quickly becomes apparent that nobody really knows what these toxic stews of chemicals and microorganisms do in the human body.
Well, readers and a few medical professionals have called me a simple-minded dolt on more than one occasion, but since 1993 I've approached the yearly flu shot hype with the understanding that if I eat and live properly, I won't have to worry about catching the flu.
The flu vaccine I use -- eating and living as close to nature as I can -- actually works. Not only that, but it doesn't cost a dime, and nobody's going to have his/her life ruined because of a "bad batch" of vaccine that triggers some mysterious autoimmune disease that lays a person out of commission for years.
But let's say you don't want to eat and live close to nature. Okay, I can understand that, but my next question would be "Which is better? Some rest time with the flu or having toxic chemicals injected into your bloodstream?"
I mean, seriously, before I got healthy I almost looked forward to a yearly bout with influenza because it meant I could go to bed and get some rest instead of working practically every waking moment of my life.
I might add that I haven't missed more than two consecutive days of work from an illness for almost five years, so a non-vaccine approach does work for me. This non-drug approach has resulted in a level of health that continually amazes me, especially when I see other men and women my age who are miserable and without energy. Men and women who spend all too much of their time drifting from doctor to doctor in endless pursuit of solutions that don't get to the cause of their problems -- diet and life style.
DR. MERCOLA'S COMMENT:
Chet Day is right on target here. He is one of the few newsletter writers that I am in virtual 100% agreement with.
I have heard some authors state that there is a direct correlation of the number of flu shots one has and the incidence of Alzheimer's. This would be due to the aluminum and mercury that is put in every flu shot.
I could not agree more with his recommendations. I am fond of providing the following answer to people who ask me if they should get a flu shot.
I tell them "Only if they want to get the flu".
I am glad to see Chet has gone for five years without missing two consecutive days of work. In the last 20 years though, I have not missed one day of work due to an illness. Now my diet and lifestyle program has NOT always been perfect, far from it. But for the most part I am following an optimized program.
The only miracle here though is that God has given us such wonderful bodies that if even come close to following an optimal diet, exercise and rest, we will have a high likelihood of immunity from illness.
Date: Sat, 09 Dec 2000
From: "Jackie Alan Giuliano, Ph.D." <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Don't Wait for the EPA - or Anyone
It takes only a few years for a deadly pesticide to infiltrate the
ecosystem, causing harm to our bodies and our world. In some cases, it
take only one exposure to one of these deadly chemicals to insure that a
birth defect will occur.
However, it seems to take about 50 years for politicians to gather
enough evidence in the form of deaths of children and birth defects to
take action. Pressure from greedy chemical companies and a decision
making process that puts unfair weight on the concerns of the industry
rather than on individual safety has virtually paralyzed the
Environmental Protection Agency and most other pesticide regulators.
Read about this disturbing issue in this week's Healing Our World
commentary on the Environment News Service at
http://www.ens.lycos.com/ens/dec2000/2000L-12-08g.html. The article,
entitled "Don't Wait for the EPA - or Anyone" discusses the lies on
most chemical pesticide labels. Originally designed as nerve gases
during World War I and II, these deadly chemicals are declared safe
until enough deaths pile up. The time is now to clear these deadly
poisons out of our lives and to demand an end to their production. We
can't wait for the EPA, who puts business solvency ahead of our health.
Take care and I wish you peace in this holiday season.
Jackie Alan Giuliano, Ph.D.
HERE AN INTERESTING AND QUITE ECLECTIC E-NEWSLETTER - SOME EXCERPTS BELOW
Date: Sat, 9 Dec 2000
From: OmPlace Editors <email@example.com>
Subject: AltWire...Alternative News
ALTWIRE...The Alternative NewsRoom Newsletter
Published by OmPLACE - The Conscious Living Directory
& Alternative NewsRoom http://omplace.com
For the Week of December 8, 2000
** Quote of the Week **
"The more I learn of physics, the more I am drawn to metaphysics."
- Albert Einstein
Articles To Submit Or Recommend?
Please submit to:
* Protesters Gassed at European Unification Summit
from the Guardian Unlimited
Riot police fought pitched battles with anti-capitalism
protesters today (Thursday) as the opening of the EU summit
in Nice descended into mayhem. Teargas grenades were used
on protesters and acrid clouds of the gas hung outside the
conference centre in the south of France as the 15 heads
of state and government prepared to meet leaders of
applicant countries wanting full European Union status.
* Preservation Through Eco-Tourism:
Plan Will Be Tried in Tropics
by John Roach/Environment News Network
The RARE Center for Tropical Conservation has selected six
World Heritage sites in the tropics, where it will develop
preservation strategies through eco-tourism that can be
transferred to other heritage sites around the world.
World Heritage sites selected for the eco-tourism project
range from Ujong Kulon National Park in western Java,
Indonesia, which attracts 5,000 hardy eco-tourists each
year, to Tikal National Park, a Mayan civilization in the
Guatemalan jungle, which welcomes more than 120,000
* A Tantrist's View Of The World Today
by Michael Chase Walker/Tantric Healer and Teacher
It is apparent that the collective psyche of our land is
at a distinct cross road. The direction looms before all
Americans whether to move ahead through conscious action
and growing awareness about ourselves, our society and the
entire planet, or to fall back under the tired old shelter
of ancient, antiquated belief systems. Indeed the recent
millennium crossing invites all human kind to step into
the light of a new Goddess God intelligence, or lag behind,
cowering under the all-punishing hand of the desert
Patriarchs of the past.
* Will There Be Any Winners In US Presidential Election?
by Greg Guma/Toward Freedom Magazine
No matter what you thought of the US presidential race,
aren't you glad it's almost over? Certainly, half the
voting public must be, those who didn't bother to show up
and likely consider elections an intrusion or a rip off.
And the rest? Conventional wisdom says most voters didn't
care for their choices. Regardless, it didn't bring out
the best in our leaders or the system. In global terms,
the outcome will make no difference at all, considering
the issues of arms and intervention, Iraq sanctions, Cuba,
the military budget, global trade deals, NATO expansion
and even Star Wars.
Archives of previous articles, quotes and recipes that
have appeared in the OmPlace Alternative NewsRoom can
be found by clicking
From: "Lance M. Brown" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Can You Pass This Election Test? (very cool)
Date: Fri, 8 Dec 2000
Pretty cool stuff here folks. A whole heap of food for thought.
Can You Pass This Election Test?
In each of the past two years, and on the first day of class, Law Professor Butler Shaffer, Southwestern University School of Law, presented his students with the following voting exercise. Bear in mind that these students knew nothing about the Professor nor had he said anything to them prior to opening up the class with this exercise.
Cast your vote to understand why it is vital to teach factual not revisionist history in our private and public institutions of education. Your comments and suggestions would be appreciated.
"It is time to elect the leader of a great nation, and you have been presented with the following candidates:
A well-known critic of government, this man has been involved in tax protest movements, and has openly advocated secession, armed rebellion against the existing national government, and even the overthrow of that government. He is a known member of a militia group that was involved in a shootout with law enforcement authorities. He opposes gun control efforts of the present national government, as well as restrictions on open immigration into this country. He is a businessman who as earned his fortune from such businesses as alcohol, tobacco, retailing, and smuggling."
A decorated army war veteran, this man is an avowed nonsmoker and dedicated public health advocate. His public health interests include the fostering of medical research and his dedication to eliminating cancer. He opposes the use of animals in conducting such research. He has supported restrictions on the use of asbestos, pesticides, and radiation, and favors government determined occupational health and safety standards, as well as the promotion of such foods as whole-grain bread and soybeans. He is an advocate of government gun-control measures.
An ardent opponent of tobacco, he has supported increased restrictions on both the use of and advertising for tobacco products. Such advertising restrictions include:
 not allowing tobacco use to be portrayed as harmless or a sign of masculinity;
 not allowing such advertising to be directed to women;
 not drawing attention to the low nicotine content of tobacco products; and,
 limitations as to where such advertisements may be made.
This man is a champion of environmental and conservationist programs, and believes in the importance of sending troops into foreign countries in order to maintain order therein.
PLEASE SELECT THE CANDIDATE FOR WHICH YOU WOULD VOTE:
CANDIDATE 'A' _____ CANDIDATE 'B' _____
At this point, don't expose any thing below this line till you have voted.
The combined vote total for these two years (4 classes) is as follows:
Candidate "A" 47 votes (25%)
Candidate"B" 141 votes (75%)
After collecting all the ballots, the professor inform the students that Candidate 'A' is a composite of the "founding fathers" (e.g., Sam Adams, John Hancock, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Patrick Henry, etc., etc.) while Candidate 'B' is Adolph Hitler (see Robert Proctor's book, The Nazi War on Cancer).
An interesting follow-up occurred in one of these classes last year. In the "commerce clause" segment of constitutional law, the students were discussing the Schechter case - in which the Supreme Court struck down the New Deal's National Industrial Recovery Act. After describing this Act in some detail, the professor went on to inform his students just how popular state collectivism was throughout the world: Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini, and Franco and Roosevelt being the better known examples; and of how Hitler and Mussolini had been revered by many renowned people throughout the world, including Gandhi, Churchill, etc., etc. At this point, one student interrupted: "I don't see how you can say that. How could a man like Adolph Hitler have been popular with so many people?"
The professor leaned over the podium and responded: "you tell me...just two weeks ago, 75% of you in this class voted for him." In about twenty seconds, the room became unbelievably silent.
PREPARING FOR THE ANNUAL MAMMOGRAM
Those of you who have already had a mammogram will really relate to this.
Those of you who have never had one will be scared to death!
Don't worry though, it's not really that bad.
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, and even if They have had
them before, there is fear. But there is no need to worry. By taking a
few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following
practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best
of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home!
EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one Breast between the
door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends Slam the door
shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold
that position for five seconds.
Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective.
EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature
Of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie
comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under
the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until
your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends
against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together
as hard as he/she can? Set an appointment with the stranger to meet
next year to do it again. You are now properly prepared!
And just a thought for all you women out there:
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And when we
have real problems, it's HISterectomy!
Send this to all the women you know, and brighten their day!
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