The following is a complement to the compilation entitled Miscellaneous Subjects 102 available at and was sent by "Suzy Ward" <> on August 13, 2001


Someone whom I hardly know has suggested that I read these Matthew books. We have just been exchanging information on the Internet. I had asked to her to send distant Reiki to my niece. Sadly my 2-year old niece died on 7 Aug 2001. She had a cancerous brain tumor removed on Friday, but was only expected to live 3-9 days. Her parents are grieving, and the depth of their grief, well I'm lost for words. The emails I have received from people tell me that Shinae (my niece) is a very special little angel. She has touched the lives of so many people, even those who don't even know her, but have just heard of her death through email. The effect of her death on this plane has impacted on many lives. She has touched the essence of our inner being. It is truly astounding and it has surprised me. A special wee angel now flying freely

New Zealand

I have read your website and would like wholesale information for reselling your books in a bookstore, Treasures of the Southwest in Mesa, AZ. Additionally, I would like to purchase one copy of each to read prior to putting copies in the store. Just a policy of mine. I would appreciate hearing from you as I cannot find any wholesale info or a phone number for you.


Sandra McFarland

Hello Suzanne,

I'm assuming, hoping, that this is the email address of Suzanne Ward, the author of the Matthew books. If it is not, please let me know.

Someone emailed me with information about the books yesterday. I looked at the website, read the excerpts, and have ordered both books. They sound absolutely fascinating, and I'm looking forward to reading them.

My son was killed at the age of 19 almost 6 years ago. He was a beautiful beautiful person, and the loss to me was indescribably difficult... but you know that. I would give much to have the kind of communication you have with your son, with my Christopher. Or even hear from him through another.

There have been dreams via others, intuitive feelings, and even one occasion, recently, when he apparently came through a medium to one of his friends. I don't know because I haven't read the book yet how your contact came to be, but was wondering if by any chance you give classes or anything like that on the technique.

I have often felt that my work here (psychiatrist) is somewhat of a preparation for working on the other side to help people through. For a long time I have felt that. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if that is what Christopher is doing there.. Well maybe, anyway. He was such a caring, insightful person when he was here.
There is so much more.. but will keep this short. I honor your beautiful son and you, and your magnificent mission...

With love


Hi Suzy,

My name is Brian Lohman, I am 16 years old, and I have been very interested in mediums and psychics for some time now. I am just wondering how busy you are at the moment. I have MANY questions for you, but if you are too busy please don't be afraid to say it. I am not going to ask my questions as of yet, I just wanted to see how free your schedule is, and if it is free I will then ask my questions.

Thank You,

Brian Lohman

Hi Suzy,

Thanks so much for answering my email. Well like I said I have been very interested in this whole medium/psychic issue. It really all started when I saw John Edward's show on the sci-fi channel, I was amazed at what he was doing and wondered why people didn't seem to care about it. So I decided to research it, and through my research I came upon one man in particular who confirmed my suspicions that what you were doing was real. This man was James Randi, I'm sure you have heard of him. He's the most outspoken critic of the paranormal, or so he claims. After conversing with him over a period of a couple months through emails, James Randi began ignoring questions which he knew he didn't know the answer to. So then eventually he sends me an email saying he will delete all further emails I send him. This came as a shock because all our conversations up to this point were very intellectual and professional. I thought it was very childish of him. But enough about Mr. Randi. I did indeed read most of your books, and I was quite amazed at the details that your son went into to describe the afterlife. I always imagined the afterlife as sort of an emotionless, timeless, nothingness... I guess I was wrong! What I want to ask of you is not simple. Frankly I don't really even know WHAT I would begin asking about a topic like this. Really though the only thing I am looking for right now is some way.... anyway to be sure that what you are doing is 100% real. I don't want to offend you in anyway, but I don't know if you can understand how hard it is to believe ANYTHING that ANYONE says in our world today. I am about 99% sure what you are doing is real...but I need that 1%, I need it so I can be sure. So really... I don't know what I'm asking you. I mean you've already published two books... you would think that would be enough for me to be sure. Basically I'm asking you, how can you help me to believe? How can you make my beliefs as strong as yours, or close to it? If I'm asking too much, or you are confused, then just tell me and I will try and simplify my questions. Thank you,

Brian Lohman


Dear Brian...

You are an amazing young man!

You don't offend me by doubting 1% that I'm "real." Actually, that's an incredible compliment! I would feel bad if the percentages were reversed, though!

I felt thrilled in an unusual way as I was reading your letter -- what a joy to know that a 16-year-old is thinking and questioning so profoundly! Your contemporaries are preoccupied with dating, designer sneakers and sports idols, and you're contemplating the reality of telepathic communication and other worlds. That astounds me -- and I hope it doesn't offend you.

Your doubting 1% (yes, I know it's a ballpark figure, and I'm not treating it as a precisely calculated amount) is healthy -- it's MUCH better than believing 100%! It gives the wiggle room any Earth human needs. As captives of our third dimensional senses and planetary environment and as victims of deception so far back that it's not in our recorded history, we are limited in our comprehension of almost everything beyond us. Do I fully comprehend everything I've received from Matthew and the others? No. I know what I'm hearing or, later, reading, but I'm restricted in really understanding all that they're explaining by not having their limit-less frames of reference for it. I don't doubt their power and godliness and knowledge. I doubt that by the time their information goes through the filtering system inherent in telepathic communication and then my own filtering system (not my conscious knowledge impinging upon the transmission, but my brain circuitry) that I am receiving 100% exactly what those sources mean. But on the plus side, I've been told by Matthew and others that I receive unusually clearly because I've demanded truth in the transmitted information and clarity in my receiving it.

Another thing: Believing something 100% doesn't leave any room for new knowledge and a broader perspective or for the validity of your own or another's experiencing something that doesn't fit into that preconceived Total. It doesn't make you a cynic or skeptic to leave that little bit of wiggle room -- it can put you in a satisfying comfort zone where you believe and act upon your beliefs, yet grant the passing years some margin to surprise you with new information to ponder. En-light-enment.

Something else about 100% belief: Do you think it might give your exploring and decision-making power away to the doctrine or philosophy you have totally embraced? Do you think it might stop your deep musing about things divine and universal if there weren't a little vagueness still to be mulled over, a lot more self to be discovered?

So, that said, I have two answers for you. One explains why I'm copying Jean Hudon on this email exchange. I don't know how you learned about -- but I hope it was through Jean's "The Veil Is Opening" that announced the website and the books. He graciously and sensitively honored my request that he delete a portion of his original heartfelt tribute to the books, and by this means, I am asking him to email you that omitted writing. You'll see why.

The other answer isn't that simple for you, perhaps, because you're obviously a "heavy thinker." Stop thinking for a while and allow yourself to just feel, float, listen. Follow the meditation instructions Menta gives -- Part VII, Universal Brotherhood, of "Revelations For A New Era." The clearest, most accurate and most valuable answers to every important question you have are within you, Brian, not external to you. Please write to me again after you've done the meditation exercises and let me know how they went.

Blessings to you in your soul-searching,


PS. Yes, indeed I know of Mr. Randi -- I just don't know what's in his heart and mind that makes him so dedicated to debunking everything extrasensory. You tested him beyond the limits of his Randi-Handy-Dandy denial routine -- and good for you! I have seen John Edwards twice. It rather bothers me that he speaks so quickly, almost giving the impression that he's rushing around something, hoping no one will notice that he skirted it rather than meeting it -- but that doesn't lessen my great respect for his telepathic ability and his service in uplifting the feelings of the families of the spirits he converses with.

Hi Suzy,

Thank you SO much for that response. It was very deep and thoughtful, and I learned a lot from it. Which is mainly what I have been trying to do this whole summer, it was sort of my mission. I needed to some how show myself that I could trust you, and you weren't just another James Randi, and you showed me that I could. Since summer is almost over I'm not going to be able to devote the amount of time that I would like to regarding this issue. But I have read the part about the meditation in your books, and I have started to try doing that every night. Sometimes it's hard though when my mind is racing at a mile a minute, but I will keep on trying, if it's one thing I learned to do it's to ALWAYS keep on trying.

Keep in touch,

Brian Lohman

Hello, Suzy, I am in the process of reading the books and find them of great interest to me. I think that all who can should read them. I would like permission to place them on our web site with a link to your site for our viewers from 93 countries to see and to order from your site.


E-Mail: - Australia,

Suzy, gentle greetings,

Deep down I have always been in love with life and have given thanks for being here. The sight of a dewdrop glistening or a magnificent cloud mass makes me catch my breath in wonder and delight. But there have been times when I didn't feel like saying thank you at all.

Your books have helped immensely in finding the perspective I needed to stop the wobbling between despair/anger and delight in life. I know what is going on! Finally!

For me the most important part of the message from Matthew has been a helpful perspective on Earth's incarnate life forms, their free will and their buffeting by the forces swirling around them. It is so helpful to understand that experiencing what I interpret as "negative" might be a necessary part of the balancing process. The central idea of achieving balance has been most helpful. Now when I feel whatever seemingly external situation is trying to push me over (like playing with one of those childhood toys that always bounces back) I can pause and ask myself where the imbalance comes from, where the balance lies. I sense that if I can collect everything within me, recognise everything as a part of the whole, be inclusive and never exclusive, then any hand would just pass through the "toy" and it wouldn't be swayed at all. I only sway in resistance to the hand that pushes! The stuff in your books about needing to synthesize both sides of any controversy in order to stop the negative energy perpetuating itself on both sides is in line with what Anatares said about Love being inclusive. The piece about homosexuality and how the energy is played out until balance is achieved was helpful.

I found a truth for myself in the idea that karmic lessons are being made available at an accelerated rate. This is my experience.

As a convert to Islam I was effusive in its praise (how could the rest of the world be so blind to its obvious merit and truth) and then I swung to the other extreme of hating its blindness to a larger truth and now I see that both were extremes and pulling me into negative energy despite my intent to get to the truth.

My main effort now is to hold the vision I saw in Islam (my personal vision of a harmonious, sharing, loving world), which I had seen as a child in Christian Sunday school, in all circumstances. So when the turban wearing, hadith thumpers come knocking at my door I resist reacting to the repulsion they arouse in me, hold very strongly to the idea that we (each apparently opposing side) are seeking the same thing (a return to living in close connection to a Loving, guiding Source) and try to manoeuvre the whole exchange to concentrate on this central truth and not let irrelevant matters like their garb, their religion, my sex, my nationality interfere.

Another example of accelerated karmic learning is how I surrounded myself with people who made me angry. For 15 years on Tioman I struggled to conquer my anger at what I saw as small-minded, stubborn bigots whose main concern was greed and exploitation, of both people and the environment. One of my brothers-in-law has had the ability to send me into fits of rage for 15 years! Long before I knew anything about new age ideas I realised that my anger was hurting no one but myself and prayed for help to overcome this. Needless to say help was given. Once I had brought myself to discover “new era” ideas I began to bless and thank this brother-in-law for the immense learning experience he has given me. I couldn’t have made such giant leaps without him, bless him!

And ditto for my husband! All those for whom I find it hard to give thanks are really those who offer me the “fast track” in learning balance. With my husband I have begun to see that we both are beings which are anchored by a central place of Love, which we can both easily lose sight of. I see my learning with him as being about NOT allowing him to push me into darkness and equally not abandoning him to the darkness either. The only way our relationship can be brought into light and not suck both of us down into darkness, is for me to see through the surface and always bring my thoughts and reactions back to a belief in his inherent goodness, his inherent potential to recognize light and ditto for me. If I can stop hating myself and my husband I am healed and so is he! Reading about the galactic battle between the forces of light and darkness has been so helpful in making me see how, in the microcosm of my marriage, I am waging the battle too. How can I now be angry with either myself or life or my husband when I understand what we are about here!

I am so conscious of how I have been living in the darkness that has been fed to me in cultural stories and not even seeing it as darkness. Darkness is being brought to light. I still can't bring myself to hate those who have been destroying this planet. That would mean hating myself!

I am still confused and not wholly in the light yet. It is easy for those in the haven protected from the forces of darkness to live by the simple rule “We love and support you on your journey". But how can I say that to someone who put a friendly ET in a cage? I welcome the cleansing that is to come because living in this mad swirl of forces of darkness and light is very confusing!

My husband listened to my re-hashing of what I have been reading from your books. I don't know what he makes of it. He has a very simple grasp of the cosmos as given through the Islamic teachings he received as a child. The simplified version of what I have been telling him is not so far removed from his simplistic picture of the battle between good and evil and that Allah will triumph in the end.

It has been important to me not to hide what is going on inside me. It has been important that I make an effort to share with him what I am thinking.

I have a very strong sense that my husband is in my life to remind me that my thoughts are not complete in their wonderings/wanderings and musings until they have been simplified enough to share with him. I have chosen him as my companion to aid my own process. I accept what is, don't want to change him or mould him into what he is not, but sense that he is there to remind me not to let my ideas go swirling off to heavenly realms without him and the rest of humanity. He is there to make sure the messages and guidance I am open to receive (and he is not perhaps) are NOT taken to be my personal possessions and only shared with like-minded souls but are worked with in order to make them accessible to those personages who are not on my wavelength. My husband is there to make sure that the wonderful hope and peace I am picking up on is distributed! I sense that the energy the ideas in your book contain can touch EVERYONE, whoever they are, from whatever cultural background, however asleep they are or wrapped up in believing the world they are accustomed to seeing. In my circle of extended family members and neighbours I can’t see anyone who would not really welcome the message from Matthew and yourself, if only they could be touched by it. How to bring them the message in a form they can open to is a big question for me.

You ask: "Have you concluded that you are not really afraid of life after all?"
Difficult to answer! This is the battle in which I am engaged. In 3D incarnate form I am living in FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real). Can I hold a vision of light despite the false evidence? That is THE question.

I have to laugh! Having brought myself to believe that at the core of all Life is all-powerful Love and there is nothing to fear I have transferred the fear from something outside myself to myself! I am not afraid of the all-powerful Source of Life. I now, however, fear my own free will and the chance it allows to fail and have to repeat and repeat. Having been brought to understand the disastrous consequences of not communing with and opening the connection to Source I am now shifting fear of the Source to fear of not connecting to it. Am I going to make it to the 4th and 5th dimension? How will my children fair in the cleansing?

So the answer is I am still afraid! The battle is not yet won for me.

In openness and joining,

Susan Hills @ Zurina Susan Abdullah
(The Malays love to use @ instead of "aka' and the idea of Susan@Zurina feels right!)