January 26, 2001
Earth Safety File #1: Mad Cow Disease Now Almost Certainly Widespread in North America as Well - Bogus FDA Feed Ban + Fidelis et Verus--Orders of Seizure + Direct action has already started in Australia + It didn't start in Seattle, and it isn't going to stop with Quebec City: USA Anti-FTAA Caravan: Quebec comes to you! + NEWS ABOUT THE WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM IN DAVOS + Lovearth Network Newsletter January 2001 + Science Alert
For a long time I've suspected that the same greed and stupidity that led to the onset of the Mad Cow disease in Britain and Europe have been at play here as well in North America. Well, the evidence is now in that such was the case (see Bogus FDA Feed Ban below). If you are a meat-eater - especially of beef - the risks are great that you have already contracted this slow-developing, debilitating and deadly disease - if you are not also already having cardio-vascular problems because of the high-fat content of most kinds of meat anyway.
If tampering with the genetic code of food plants to make them resistant to higher doses of herbicides (73% of GE crops were modified solely for herbicide tolerance in 2000) so as to make more profits; systemically adding antibiotics to most animal feeds so as to make more profits; poisoning our land, air and water supply with a toxic brew of chemical herbicides and pesticides so as to make more profits, irradiating a growing number of foodstuff to make them last longer so as to make more profits; polluting our atmosphere with greenhouse gases while shipping hundreds or thousands of miles/kilometers away foodstuff grown in countries with low wages and lax environmental regulations so as to make more profits; disseminating ozone-depleting chemicals through fertilizers used to make plants grow bigger and faster so as to make more profits; adding neurotoxic chemicals such as aspartame and a loooong list of other carcinogenic food additives to most foodstuff sold in supermarkets so as to make more profits; processing food beyong recognition, packaging it in lots of chemically-leeching plastics and wasteful cardboard boxes and all kinds of bottles filling up dumps and spoiling beaches and nature all over the world so as to make more profits; overfishing and strip-mining all the oceans with huge trawler fleets and mile-long drifting nets so as to make more profits; using an enormous percentage of our dwingling world supply of grains (worldwide reserves of grain are now at an all-time low level) to feed livestock and wasting in the process 60 to 90% of the proteins that could be fed directly to humans, especially poor people dying of hunger by the millions so as to make more profits; ------ if all these insults to our bodies and our planet were not enough, and I'm certainly forgetting lots of other for-profit schemes in this list -- think for instance about the deaths caused by the E-Coli bacteria found in ground beef; think about the vast tracks of land in national parks damaged by the hoofs of grazing cattles; think about the tremendous polluting load of millions of tons of manure both solid and liquid from livestock around the world - and the *stench* in so many rural areas!!; think about the horrendous conditions in which so many industrial farm animal live and die; think about the millions of acres of rainforest burned and transformed into pastures to raise beef for fast-food restaurants; and the list goes on and on endlessly!!! -- now ON TOP OF ALL THAT we must contend with the knowledge that the multinational corporations, their governmental accomplices and the handful of individuals that want to run most of this world and profit from us have allowed contaminated bovine parts - euphemistically called "rendered animal protein" -- not to mention the body parts of cows, pigs, chickens, sheeps with the Mad Sheep Disease or even household cats and dogs, all "commingled" together at the rendering plants and the feed mills -- to make their way, directly or indirectly, for years into your plate and your stomach... if you are a North American beef-eater.
Personally, I prefer to organically grow most of my own vegetables, buy as much organic food as possible, avoid beef entirely and eat other kinds of meat and fish only very occasionally as I've done for the last 20 years. It is a small contribution to the health of the planet - and mine as well! - but at least I feel I contribute to the solution instead of compounding the problem.
How about you?
Earth Rainbow Network Coordinator
P.S. If you need more clear-cut reasons to quit eating beef and lower your meat intake in general, read the eye-opening facts (A MUST!!) from the book "Diet For A New America" at http://www.muzanji.com/jrobbins/"
See the Far-Reaching Consequences of Meat and Dairy - another *MUST READ* and a book review of Diet For A New America at http://www.hacres.com/html/newamer.html
Visit the Vegan site at http://www.veganoutreach.org/whyvegan/
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2001
From: BILL D <email@example.com>
Subject: Bogus FDA Feed Ban
It's important the truth is told about the FEDERAL DEATH ADMINISTRATION (FDA) and its sinister manipulations of the food supply, surely you will help.
Hopefully you will see the importance of informing your readers,
NOTE FROM JEAN: ABSOLUTELY!!
Bogus FDA Feed Ban
Sandra Blakeslee of the New York Times reported on Jan. 11 that the US Food and Drug Administration's supposed 1997 ban on feeding rendered animal protein to cows and other ruminant animals is full of loopholes, and moreover that the so-called ban is not being enforced among the thousands of companies involved in the $3.2 billion dollar rendering industry and the $20 billion dollar animal feed industry. As Blakeslee wrote: "Among 180 large companies that render cattle and another ruminant, sheep, nearly a quarter were not properly labeling their products and did not have a system to prevent commingling, the FDA said. And among 347 FDA-licensed feed mills that handle ruminant materials--these tend to be large operators that mix drugs into their products--20 percent were not using labels with the required caution statement, and 25 percent did not have a system to prevent commingling. Then there are some 6,000 to 8,000 feed mills so small they do not require FDA licenses. They are nonetheless subject to the regulations, and of 1,593 small feed producers that handle ruminant material and have been inspected, 40 percent were not using approved labels and 25 percent had no system in place to prevent commingling."
In other words millions of US cows, sheep, game farm deer and elk, and pigs (pigs and cow's blood were inexplicably exempted in the so-called FDA feed ban of 1997), not to mention household pets, are still being fed billions of pounds of animal feed or pet food containing meat and offal from ruminant animals--despite the obvious danger to human and animal health and despite the fact that the FDA and the USDA for the past three years have been reassuring the public that this was no longer happening. But the story gets scarier. In the Times on the front page of the Sunday Jan. 14 edition, (tucked under a misleading headline "Stringent Steps Taken by US on Cow Illness") Blakeslee drops the bombshell. Not only has the US Mad Cow feed ban been a joke, but apparently US feed companies, pet food companies, pharmaceutical firms, and nutritional supplement manufacturers have been carrying on with business as usual by importing large quantities of possibly contaminated bovine parts and rendered animal protein--no doubt at bargain basement prices--in 1989 and 1997. It appears that the same thing that has European consumers' blood boiling, that their government and industry stupidly or greedily imported tons of likely contaminated rendered animal protein from Britain since 1989 has also been happening in the United States, and likely other nations as well. After British authorities made it illegal to feed rendered animal protein to ruminant animals in their own country, the UK feed industry simply sold it overseas.
As Blakeslee states, quoting from export records, "British export statistics show that 20 tons of 'meals of meat or offal' that were 'unfit for human consumption' and probably intended for animals were sent to the United States in 1989. And 37 tons were exported to the US in 1997, well after the government banned imports of such risky meat." Blakeslee goes on to point out what BioDemocracy News and other critics of industrial agriculture have been saying for years, that even if the US hadn't been importing 57 thousand tons or more of suspect British offal in the 1990s, there is mounting evidence that US rendered animal protein and bovine, sheep, deer, and elk parts are themselves likely carriers of BSE and other Mad Cow-like diseases. As Blakeslee relates, scientists have generally agreed that BSE or BSE-like diseases "spontaneously" appear in "one out of every million humans, cows, sheep and many other mammals.
"Since 36 million cattle are slaughtered annually in the United States, about 36 cows spontaneously infected with mad cow disease could be entering the nation's food chain each year." Thirty-six domestic US Mad Cows a year being ground up and fed back to other animals may not sound that alarming until you consider the fact that an average cow, pig, chicken, game farm deer, elk, fish farm fish, or household cat and dog--because of the commingling of many different animals' body parts at the rendering plant and the feed mill--will be consuming the body parts of literally thousands of different animals in their feed over their lifetime.
Mad Sheep, Deer, & Elk
And in fact the story gets worse. Scrapie or Mad Sheep Disease has been endemic in US sheep herds since 1947, and the government has done little or nothing to eradicate it. Significant numbers of scrapie-infected sheep have undoubtedly been ground up every year and fed back to other animals. In addition the US currently has a raging epidemic of Mad Deer Disease and Mad Elk Disease (technically called Chronic Wasting Disease) in parts of Colorado and Wyoming. There are already several documented cases of young deer hunters in their 20s and 30s dying from CJD, the human equivalent of Mad Cow. Mad Elk Disease has recently spread into Saskatchewan, unnerving elk ranchers and the nutritional supplements industry, who sell three billion dollars worth of supplements each year (mainly to Asia) made from elk antlers.
Consider the fact that at the height of the first Mad Cow crisis in Britain 1-2% of all cows were being diagnosed with BSE, while the Times reports that up to 18% of mule-tail deer in the Fort Collins area of Colorado are now carriers of Chronic Wasting Disease. Hunters that kill deer in Colorado are required to turn in the heads of these animals so that they can be tested for CWD or Mad Deer Disease. Officials tell hunters not to eat the meat of infected animals, (lab tests can take as long as six weeks) but have stubbornly refused to ban hunting or eating venison, despite calls from consumer groups such as the Center for Food Safety and the Organic Consumers Association to do so. Meanwhile several million people are eating venison and venison sausage every year in the US, while several million more in the US and overseas are taking "glandular supplements" or body-building hormones which contain concentrated brain and pituitary material from US, British, and European cows. For the full Jan. 14 Blakeslee article see http://www.purefood.org/meat/madcowexplosive.cfm
Another FDA Ban?
The FDA warned US drug companies, cosmetic companies, and nutritional supplements firms Dec. 6 to stop using European bovine parts in most of their products as of Jan. 1. It may already be too late. As Blakeslee points out, even this ban--assuming it actually gets enforced--still has loopholes. As she writes, nutritional supplements "must have labels listing ingredients like bovine pituitaries and adrenals, but manufacturers are not required to list the country of origin. Other beef byproducts that are still allowed in the country include milk, blood, fat, gelatin, tallow, bone mineral extracts, collagen, semen, amniotic fluid, serum albumin and other parts of European cattle that are widely used in vaccines and medicines."
For more information on Mad Cow and Mad Cow-like diseases see our website http://www.organicconsumers.org as well as the following sites http://www.prwatch.org and http://www.mad-cow.org
The best book on the threat of Mad Cow in the US is the book by John Stauber and Sheldon Rampton called Mad Cow USA: Could the Nightmare Happen Here? You can order hardback copies of the book from the Organic Consumers Association for only $10 (this includes shipping). Or you can access the entire book for free on the internet by going to the excellent website of the Center for Media and Democracy http://www.prwatch.org
America and the world's 50-year experiment with chemical-intensive industrial agriculture and genetic engineering may soon be moving into its final, terminal stage. Mad Cow Disease and the growing global opposition to factory farming and genetic engineering may turn out to the harbingers of a new era of sustainable living and organic agriculture. One can only hope that we make the necessary transition to organic farming and ban the most dangerous practices of genetic engineering and industrial food production before it is too late. In the meantime, stay tuned to BioDemocracy News and the Organic Consumers Association website http://www.organicconsumers.org for the latest news and analysis.
By the way you can still get to the OCA website by going to http://www.purefood.org
We're now using http://www.purefoods.org
Take a look at this site if you want to see what we're up against. Keep in mind, however, that the "Bad Guys" wouldn't be doing this except for the fact that we're winning the battle.
End of BioDemocracy News # 31
I DON'T KNOW IF ALL OF THE FOLLOWING IS TRUE, BUT IF IT IS, THEN PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT IT.
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2001
Subject: Fidelis et Verus--Orders of Seizure
Orders of Seizure
Some Executive Orders (EO) recorded in the Federal Register and accepted by
Congress as the law of the land. These can be mobilized by President Bush
with nothing but his signature.
EO#10955: by President Kennedy. Empowers the federal government to seize
all communications media including radio and television stations, newspapers,
magazines, CB, Ham short wave, telephones, satellite systems, and the
Internet. The first amendment would be suspended. Freedom of speech and
religion would not be permitted.
EO#10997: Seizure of all electrical power, fuels, including gasoline and
EO#10998: Seizure of all food resources, farms and farm equipment.
Anti-food hoarding regulations go into effect, all food resources to be under
control of Secretary of Agriculture who could ration food.
EO#10999: Seizure of all kinds of transportation, including your personal
car and control of all highways, seaports, waterways, railways, airports, and
public storage facilities, empowering the Secretary of Commerce with full
EO#11000: Seizure of all civilians for work under Federal supervision of
the secretary of Labor, including involuntary location of workers without
regard to payment or reimbursement. ( The Defense Production Act of 1950,
Section 2153 of War and National Defense.)
EO#11001: Federal takeover of all health, education and welfare, including
Catholic hospitals and schools and pharmaceuticals.
EO#11002: Postmaster General empowered to register every man, woman and
child in the U.S.A.
EO#11003: Seizure of all aircraft and airports by the Federal Government.
EO#11004: Housing and finance authority may shift population from one
locality to another. Housing could be seized.
EO#11005: Seizure of railroads, inland waterways, and storage facilities.
EO#11051: The Director of the office of Emergency Planning authorized to
put Executive Orders into effect in times of increased international tension
or financial crisis. He is also to perform additional functions as the
President may direct.
EO#11490: Presidential control over all U.S. citizens and businesses
including churches in times of emergency.
EO#11921: The Government would seize control over education, welfare,
mechanisms of production and distribution, energy sources, wages, salaries,
credit and the flow of money in the U.S. financial institutions and impose
EO#13010: Directs FEMA to take control over all government agencies in
time of emergency.
An Executive Order is issued by the President and appears in the Federal
Register for 30 days. If there is no challenge by Congress, the order
then becomes law.
Sister Lucy (Fatima Prophecy) was asked in 1946 if communism would one day
rule in America. She said: "Yes". That day may be at hand as Bush who has
many communist links has prepared the scene for a complete communist takeover
by issuing many executive orders and combining the old orders into one big
Howard J. Ruff, economist and publisher of The Ruff Times stated: " since the
enactment of EO#12919, the only thing standing between us and dictatorship is
the good character of the President, and the lack of a crisis severe enough
that the world would stand still for it."
From: "Kiki Paquet" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: Direct action has already started in Australia
Date: Wed, 24 Jan 2001
Today is the chinese New Year, I'm wishing you all a happy and fruitful
year of the Snake.
I have just heard (last night on Arte channel) about a strong
anti-globalisation movement in Australia. They have already implemented
direct action, and are calling for global action. They also want to find
ways to go from present virtual action on Internet to concrete action
throughout the world. A lot of those activists are already living in
tribes, and opposing FIRM NON-VIOLENT PROTESTS. It's wonderful to hear them
say that they WILL NOT BACK UP, they are openly standing up to the "big
guys" (through cream pie throwing too!), they are even training in order to
be fit physically in case of police reprisals. They are adopting a new
attitude (which looks a bit like the hippies, peace, love, no consumerism,
natural, artistic and spiritual way of living, solidarity, tolerance...).
Most of the leaders hold university diplomas and know what they are talking
about. The civil desobedience they are calling for is also against
Visit their site at http://www.s11.org for a great treat !
Love to all
Date: Wed, 24 Jan 2001
From: Mark Graffis <email@example.com>
Subject: USA Anti-FTAA Caravan: Quebec comes to you!
From: "la C.L.A.C." <firstname.lastname@example.org>
USA Anti-FTAA Caravan: Quebec Comes to You!
Between February 10 to March 3, members of the Anti-Capitalist Convergence (CLAC) and the Summit of the Americas Welcoming Committee (CASA) in Quebec will be undertaking an anti-FTAA, anti-capitalist caravan to the Northeastern United States. This tour follows on similar caravans to Ontario last October, as well as the Eastern provinces of Canada. Both groups are actively involved in grassroots mobilizations against the upcoming Summit of the Americas in Quebec City, and are organizing for a Day of Action on April 20.
The following is a second call-out for the Northeast USA tour. Plans are coming together for the caravan, but we need local groups to get in touch in order to confirm dates and times if they feel a caravan stop by Quebec-based activists would be useful to their own efforts.
The caravan aims to help and to participate in local mobilization and awareness-raising efforts, ranging from workshops, talks and panels. Topics covered on the Caravan include the FTAA and the Summit of the Americas; resistance in Quebec, Canada and Latin America: the context of capitalist globalization; tactics and strategies in the anti-globalization movement; the "Color of Resistance" (race, racism and representation in the "anti-globalization" movement); the People's Global Action (PGA) network; Plan Colombia; solidarity between resistance struggles; as well as specific information about actions in Quebec City in April. One overarching theme of our caravans is: "It didn't start in Seattle, and it isn't going to stop with Quebec City." While are focussed on organizing and mobilizing for the Quebec City Summit, we are just as focussed on local awareness-raising efforts and actions.
We have already had several confirmations for our caravan. Below is a tentative schedule of our stops. Contact email@example.com or phone 514-526-8946 to confirm a stop in your area.
NOTE: The caravan will be from February 12 to March 2 and will visit a number of US cities including Boston, Buffalo, New York, Philadelphia and Washington. Contact them for the exact schedule if you are interested to meet with them.
CHECK ALSO THE NEWS ABOUT THE WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM IN DAVOS
FULL COVERAGE AT
Police Seal Off Davos As Business Summit Starts
The Daily Davos
The Public Eye on Davos (An anti-globalization parallel Conference)
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2001
From: "Lovearth.net" <AUnityOfOnePercent@Lovearth.net>
Subject: Lovearth Network Newsletter January 2001
Lovearth® Founded 1988
Lovearth Network Online 1997
Forming A Unity Of One Percent To Stop Our Extinction
Through Hundreds Of Environmental Humanitarian Websites
Fill this new millennium with Peace and Love for yourself and all life.
Lovearth is an environmental organization that's been creating
awareness since 1988. For the last 4 years we have concentrated on
disseminating truthful information, empowering solutions and direct
actions on environmental and humanitarian concerns via the Internet.
Our intent is to form a unity of one percent through our growing
network of hundreds of environmental and humanitarian websites.
By reading two of our insightful studies, http://www.Rainforests.net
and http://www.Overpopulation.net you will understand that we have
past the point of sustainability. In 1984 the per capita grain output
peaked at 755 pounds per person. Since 1984, grain output has fallen
on average by .6 percent yearly. The 2000 per capita grain output was
686 pounds. Oceanic Fish catch peaked in 1989. All 17 major oceanic
fisheries are being fished at or beyond capacity and 9 are in a state
of collapse. Our species relentless shortsighted destruction to all
Earth ecosystems coupled with the outright slaughter to the web of life
have left us at the extinction or life fork in the road in our evolution.
In December 1987, when the exponential growth of human
population peaked, we entered the 25 year window where we will
cross our species Omega point. That window will close for our
dance on the stage of life if we break through the critical barrier of
10% virgin Rainforests area with 50% Species in December 2012.
For the sake of our future generations, we must immediately heed the
inherent limits of Mother Earth and strive for a harmonious sustainability.
The time is now for each and every one of us to fully understand and
recognize that if we do not radically change our corporate driven
consumptive and destructive way of life, we will go extinct. With love in
every moment we must do the best we can to help others understand
these logical facts and connect the dots to form a unity of one percent.
Thank you to the thousands of caring people for joining the
Lovearth Network email list every month. By joining with us you
will receive our monthly Newsletter and once in a while on some
very important issues you will also receive direct action news via
email from us. We will always keep your email address confidential.
Connect the dots, email this Newsletter to a friend or two or three.
Love All Life On Earth For Future Generations
The Wondrous Staff Of The Lovearth Network
"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation
where they will not be judged by the color of their skin
but by the content of their character."
"Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of
segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time
to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children.
Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of
racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood."
"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
Listen to while also reading the text of
Perhaps the greatest speech ever recorded
I Have A Dream
Lincoln Memorial, Washington D. C.
August 28, 1963
16 minutes and 15 seconds of History
For more of the greatest quotes
Hail to the THIEF
The Corpocracy Uncovered
Bush family supported Third Reich
1) Buckminster Fuller An Anthology For A New Millennium
Edited By Thomas T. K. Zung
Publishing Date: January 23, 2001 From St. Martin's Press
Buckminster Fuller the wondrous visionary environmentalist inventor
( Geodesic Dome ) and one of the great minds of the 20th century.
In this wondrous new anthology about the planet's friendly genius,
read Bucky's legacy about a greater understanding and appreciation
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Start the Third Millennium off with a true visionary ahead of his time.
2) Latest EcoPolitical News And Direct Actions On Earths.net
Find the latest and best ecopolitical news and direct actions at
3) Do Something Wonderful For Yourself And Humanity Daily
We have selected the best 24 click to donate for free sites on
the Internet. We've put them together on one website so that
within 10 minutes per day, you can save over 150 square feet
of our precious tropical Rainforests, Feed 6 hungry Children,
Save the big Cats, Clear Landmines and much more.
4) Sustainability Has Been Passed And Our Population Is Crashing
Find out the latest true numbers why we have passed the point
of Sustainability and Homo sapiens World Population numbers
reflecting this have now been crashing for 13 straight years.
Zero Population Growth Will Occur Between 2020 To 2029
ZPG 2020 @ 6.64 Billion To ZPG 2029 @ 6.90 Billion
5) The Number One Issue Facing Humanity - Rainforests.net
Please carefully read and fully understand
Rainforests Biodiversity Scale Of Destruction
It states that the number one issue now facing humanity is the
manmade ecological disaster of mass species extinctions that
results from Rainforests Destruction. We will reach the point
between the years 2012 to 2016 where only 10% virgin Rainforests
area remains, leaving only 50% of Rainforests species.
We must not go past this inherent built-in natural threshold.
6) Non Corporate Spin The Best Alternative News Links
In a country where 10 corporations own virtually all media
Come check out the Top 50 Best Alternative News Sources
7) For All The Up To The Minute Global Environmental News
Up to the minute environmental stories from around the world
8) Visit The .Com Websites For 365 Top EcoHumane Celebrities
Movie Trailers, Photos, Bios, Birthdays, Song Poll, Tour Dates,
Interactive Message Board, Snail Mail addresses to write to
each artist and a great place to buy their music, art and books.
You can write your own brief letter about Rainforests.net and / or
Overpopulation.net and send to one or more of the celebrities
asking them to please read both of the studies and get involved.
9) Imagine John Lennon Day Sign Our Petition To Make This A Reality
The heartbeat of Homo Sapiens is music
John was the greatest singer songwriter and
The most influential political artist of our time
Sunday October 9, 2005
Honoring John's 65th birthday and there after every October 9th
With an International holiday
John Lennon Day Celebrating Peace and Love on Earth
Sign our petition to gather the 10 Million signatures needed
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Thank you for doing all you can to make John Lennon Day a reality.
Please spread the John Lennon Day Petition website to all of your
family, friends and media.
You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us and the world will live as one
STRAWBERRY FIELDS VIDEO
Lovearth thanks all the people who signed
our petition at Strawberry Fields on December 8th.
We are producing a documentary video of that day and
are asking for additional video from anyone who was there.
10) Extinction Solutions Creating The Solutions To Stop the Extinctions
Read about the top 36 ways to stop our extinction
Can you think of any other Extinction Solutions to add to this list?
11) Link With Us And Make Lovearth.net Your StartUp Page
Check out at our Banners
Tell some friends to go and check out the Lovearth Network.
To make Lovearth.net or Humane.net your startup page go to
Simple instructions - You can do this in 2 minutes.
12) Resonate Love - The Poetry Of Mark Elsis
A New Ethic Of Caring
A new ethic of caring
For all life on Earth is needed
A humane way of sharing
Where reverence for all life is treated
A new ethic of caring
Must now form quickly from you and me
For the web of life is tearing
Apart much faster then anyone is willing to see
A new ethic of caring
Or our species will be taken care of
Bad to worse will go our faring
Till in the end there was no more love
© ME 1996
The Best Of The EcoHumane Poetry of Mark Elsis
13) The February Newsletter - US military wants control of everything.
The United States military owns the land, sea and air.
Now they want the underwater and outer space.
Lovearth Network Monthly Newsletter Archive
BE YOUR BEST
Executive Director: Mark Elsis
LOVE YOURSELF AND ALL LIFE ON EARTH
FOR THE SAKE OF OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS
GO IN PEACE
From: Palden Jenkins <firstname.lastname@example.org>
AP Newswire: Science Alert
18 January 2001
Cambridge, England (UK) Investigators at a major research institution have
recently discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling
new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad). This new
element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It
does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons,
and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it
an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peeons.
Because it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one
reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take
less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does
not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time,
because with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become
neutrons, forming new isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion
leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever
morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass".
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